I bet you were wondering....

I bet you were wondering, and so was I... What the heck happened to us? Did we die??

Nope. It's much worse than that. We may have been busy falling in love.

So much time has passed, where do I start?

I guess with the announcement that Miss Jaclyn is ENGAGED and we are full bore into the wedding plans! This will leave my blog a bit more lonely... as I still revel in this singledom... but I couldn't be happier for Jaclyn and Craig. Of course I will take most of the credit since I was the one to set them up on their first date! yay me!

In the mean time. We have been up to many shenanigans. A fake wedding hoax for April Fools. Along with fake photos, a fake name change, and a fake ring all posted to Facebook. Very believable. It was nice to have the boys play along for that one... although one of the boys ended up hyperventalating into a paper bag and has not ever quite been the same since. I think its safe to say... he's not the one getting married. we als0 went toliet papering at least twice. Once as leprechauns and the second time as ninjas. We went to Second Chance Prom dressed up as an era. (So sad we didn't get photos that night because we looked amazing!) Jax and Craigory rocked the 1920's, while Trent and I dabbled in the 1970's (inspired by Trent's polyester orange overcoat).

The latest adventure was a late night run to Rexburg to have Trent be our (trainer) at the gym. OH MY GOSH!!! This may have been the worst idea ever. Jax was cursing at Trent while she tried to do lunge after lunge and then he made us run stairs and do some dumb jumpy thing after. I can honestly say I have NEVER felt so sore in all my life... and I lift weights fairly regularly. Trent may want to consider being a coach for the biggest loser. Even as I slept last night I winced everytime I had to move. RIDICULOUS. Can't wait to do it again!

I know there is more to say... and I wish I had photos of all of this lovliness saved to my computer, but I don't. They are all posted to Facebook though if you are just DYING to see them. Btw... I might loathe FB after getting dumped there. That's a whole other blog though... and trust me, it's pending. I just have to figure out how I want to word such a delicate situation. lol.

So, friends, is the last several months in a nut shell. I will be going computerless soon and unsure of how to maintain the blog... but I will do my best to figure out something!

La Fiesta:

So an new post has been forthcoming... for awhile now. Trouble is that Jaclyn and I have plenty of new adventures to post (we have a list actually) but we wanted to blog about them together. Sitting down and having the time to blog with 7 kids running around the house is a joke. It's pretty much not going to happen. Unless Trent and Craig care to watch the kidlets for us!! (wink, wink)

So, I will choose the least exciting yet still highly entertaining thing to post. Last time I spoke about the Bromance. This time, I'm on to the Girls Night. Since we are WILD MORMONS... our girls night out consisted of the Blackfoot 5th Ward Relief Society Birthday Dinner. I know, I know... scandalous! So there Jaclyn and I sit at a table... all by our lonesomes... directly underneath a pinata in the shape of a person. Which reminds me of Napolean when the principal tells Pedro this;

"Look, Pedro, I don't know how they do things down in Juarez, but here in Idaho we have a little something called pride. Understand? Smashing in the face of a pinata that resembles Summer Wheatley is a disgrace to you, me, and the entire Gem State."

Which in turns makes me strangely hungry for tater tots. (sigh)

So, we sat underneath the pinata... and eventually had to move the table because they had a stick to smash in its face and everything. What kind of relief society party is this?? Jaclyn was the lucky girl chosen to go first and I tried my hardest to work her dumb phone to get a picture... but no. I'm a technological idiot. Some of the older ladies (there are lots in our ward) refused to move so Jax almost smacked one in the back of the head with the stick. I was laughing so hard because the Bishop was standing over by his wife and she was saying "Shawn, Do something! They are going to hit that lady!" and the Bishop said something to the extent of, "this will be the first and last time a pinata gets to be at the RS party." and the RS President announced to everyone that the pinata represented "Molly Mormon" and we got to beat her with a stick! I went next. I knocked her leg off. Eventually the candy spilt out and while I would like to say that all the old ladies rushed in and pushed each other out of the way to reach the candy... it would be a lie. We all just sat there staring, appalled as nothing but the head of poor Molly remained as candy was strewn about the floor. *crickets chirping*

So, as you can see... what was intended for a calm, spiritual night out... turned into a bit more than what was anticipated. I am beginnign to think people are creating these spectacular events just to end up on our blog!

The bromance

There is something to be said about a healthy STRAIGHT relationship between the male species. Generally speaking, the typical behaviors of men lead me to believe that they grunt, watch football and occasionally slap each other on the butt during sports affiliated activities.

But, my friends, I have seen a new upcoming trend that I like to call... the BROMANCE. 

Examples of a bromance could be... oh, say... a man-date.
A man-date is when two men pair up to go out on the town. Dinner and a scary movie perhaps. No girls, no pressure, just a good time with your bro. Making sure there is a buffer zone during the movie to maintain manliness.

Another way to enhance the bromance is with the manly and more rare epic chest bump.




 I feel that I should probrably explain this in more detail. It involves some of my most favorite people. Trent, Scott and Brett in a three way chest bump that is so rare it is proportional to catching bigfoot on film! This was at yet another geriatrics dance that had some struggles that one can only explain as "dancing with the dead". I think that can be seen in the clip.

My favorite part about the video is not their stellar form, although it is to be admired... but rather the random old man who is ranting about how we are taking away from the others fun time. WHAT??? I took a survey and 97% of the people were not having fun and one person lapsed into a coma shortly before the chest bumping began. Hence why the bromance had to be taken to such an extreme level!! 

So... the next time you single men mock us gals because we go to the bathroom in herds and have the tendency to go on girls nights out... I say PFFFFT... I have PROOF that the bromance is the new up and coming trend!

Line Dancing.... on a whole new level.

Remember line dancing? I learned it in Jr. High. We learned several different line dances. One to "Fishing in the Dark" and another to "Elvira" where we all danced in a big circle.

The singles dances are known for line dances. Very similar to Jr. High... but older. Much much older.
Last night was no exception and I will not deny that I found even myself doing the two step shuffle hand over head lasso move! ~ What can I say? I make it look good.

But the most UNUSUAL thing happened at the dance last night. I don't know what song it was or how it came to pass... but the singles in the room united for a moment to create a room twirling experience that will not soon be forgotten. They linked arms- in twos, threes and nines and trapsied around the room in a counter-clockwise formation. Like a flock of birds circling before they land. It was the most epic form of line dancing I have EVER witnessed.

AND THEN~ I saw... A lone duck. Dancing in the middle of the room with such skill, such form, and such confidence. I gawked, I stared, I may have even pointed ( I swear I didn't mean too) and then I laughed. I laughed until my sides hurt. I wasn't laughing just at this poor guy.... but rather the situation. Is this truly what we have all been reduced too? Surely there must be something more to singles life than this!

I only wish I could have gotten pictures of this. But alas, a dimly lit room with nothing but an occasional strand of Christmas lights doesn't make for the most prime photo opportunity.

The Curse

I have a dating curse... a black cloud of inopportune moments that is continually over my head.  I fear for those who date me. Let me just share a couple of stories so you can get a feel for what I mean. I went to the movies the other night. All was going fabulously well. I was wearing the classic Mormon tank top with layered shirts underneath to maintain modesty. We got a couple of giant sodas and a large popcorn and made the way to our seats. As we sit and watch the previews, I take a sip of my soda. A bit drips on my shirt. I casually laugh it off and carry on. No big deal. More casual banter ensues. I take yet another sip of soda, to my dismay, the soda proceeds to pour down in between my mediocre cleavage leaving my layers of clothing COMPLETELY drenched!  As in, even my bra was soaking with Dr. Pepper. I started laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants. Not that anyone would notice. I could just blame it on the soda. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't possibly sit through a two hour movie immersed in soda. My poor date, he was a gentleman and offered to take me home (30 minute drive) or maybe stop at a store and buy a new t-shirt... but we were already at the movies. The tickets had already been purchased. They aren't cheap you know. and the movie... was about to start. No. These options would not suffice. So my date gingerly offered his jacket and off I went to the restroom. There I changed into nothing but the jacket- took the top layer tank top to the hand dryer and stood there drying it off- giggling the whole time. Once that was sufficiently dry I went back into my stall, threw on the tank top, put on my dates jacket and zipped it up. I wadded my wet clothes into a paper towel and shoved it into my purse. The worst part about the entire evening... the movie was lame.

Next date- same guy. I managed to break out a light bulb while playing pool. All I know is that I hit a couple of balls into the holes and lifted my sticky thing and accidentally bumped the light that was hovering over the table. Next thing I know there is a light bulb EXPLODING on the table and I am once again laughing so hard that my cheeks hurt.

The reason I tell you this now... is because the curse has not lifted. Last weekend I took my random guy #36 with me down to Utah. He got to meet my parents. (scary) I dropped 3/4 of my kids to an ex and we got to go live it up in Mormonville. 

I had big plans for our weekend escapade. We were to hop the frontrunner in Ogden and head to downtown SLC... and we did just that.

Here we are just moments after parking the car in downtown Ogden.

Trent is random guy #36. You may recognize him from Jaclynn's wild birthday party!

Mister Eli came with us. His Dad lives in VA so he gets to hang out with me most of the time. He LOVES riding the train and that picture is just priceless!

Once arriving in SLC- our first stop was to hit up the Church History Museum. Most of the galleries were under renovation (sadness) so we spent the majority of our time in the kid section. Lucky for us-- we have kid hearts-- and the Sister Missionaries were kind enough not to kick us out. 

 

I asked Trent how he knew where he was steering that ship. He said he had connections. I am assuming he was referring to Nephi and that handy GPS that he has known as the Liahona. I told Trent that we may need that to get around town later... sadly Nephi wouldn't hand it over. Something about it only working for the righteous. Hmmph. 

 

 Trent didn't care though.

Should I even mention how many little kids we had to push away to get this picture?

After that we enjoyed a leisure stroll by the reflection pond and had a quaint lunch at the Lion House. 

 I would like to say that our day ended happily right there... but as I am sure you recall. I am cursed. 

We hopped the train back home and as it was pulling to a stop I start rummaging through my purse to find my keys. I can't find them. Oh crap!! 

So we go to the car... hoping that perhaps they are there. AND they are. In the ignition! I grab the door handle and TADA... it's open. Thank heavens!! And then Trent says to me... "Is the car running?"  Um... yeah. I left my car RUNNING for 5 hours! I don't know whether to feel grateful that it wasn't stolen or offended that it wasn't good enough. So, we jump in and off we go... cept that I left Eli's boots on the roof of the car. Seriously?? I'm ridiculous!!

Oh Valentine's.

Who invented this holiday again? Pretty sure it wasn't a man. NO NO... Men wouldn't have dreamed of such a thing. Men across the world loathe this holiday. Why just today on the radio I heard the announcer rattle of some statistic to which men consciously avoid being in a relationship until after Valentine's Day is over.Smart thinking guys. How's about you just grow a pair and stop being such sissies!

 I, myself, live in a world with very few expectations. (A result of having my expectations crushed over and over again) My lack of expectations greatly enhances the joy of recieving and plus, I generally go shopping and buy myself whatever I want and can justify it away! Which always makes me happy! 

This year~ I actually had an entire weekend of Valentinesness. Which I will be explaining later.... but I wanted to put a quick post in for discussion. Today I was asked what my love language is. I have one... I am certain. I'm sure I learned it once or twice, but I always forget.

 So... I went here http://edified.org/myspace/lovelanguage and took a quick test. Apparently my love languages are touch and words of affirmation. They tied. I can see how it's true. There is nothing better than a nice warm hug and someone telling me how incredible I know I am. I like it. What's yours?

A Dancing Birthday!

This past week I turned the dreaded 25. The quarter century mark, half way to fifty... how ever you put it, 25! That's what I turned. I turned the corner and now have to be a grown up. In light of this dreadful day, we decided what better way to join the "elderly" then to join them with style. Most people go out and party, have one last big hurrah while they're still young enough too. So why not? Our most perfect idea for the most perfect birthday was to... you ready for this... have a DANCE PARTY! And that my friends is exactly what we did.



We got together, and lived it up. The night started off with some impromptu singing. Now I am musically retarded. But everyone else can pick up the gee-tar and jam. So there was jamming going on. Rad right? That in itself could of been an awesome birthday but no oh no... there was more to come. After I was serenaded or maybe while I was still being serenaded, my dear friend Jen.... pulled out the most delectable cheesecake you have ever seen. It wasn't a jello cheesecake... it wasn't even store bought. This was a real... amazingly delish, home made, Betty Crocker style cheesecake. My mouth about it the floor when I saw it. Nothing and I mean NOTHING was about to keep me from eating the whole thing. No need to remind me that with old age comes the slowing down of my metabolism...I don't care. Cheesecake... I NEED CHEESECAKE!






So after stuffing our faces with the best birthday cake EVER, we decided to get real wild. Heck you have to let go sometimes. We got matching tatts! Okay they may have been rub on ones that come in children's valentines (that's all we could find), but still, who wouldn't want a pink or purple skull and cross bones tatt? We rock! That's all there is too it. So lets recap... Jamming... Stuffing our faces.... Tatts... what am I missing here? Oh yeah.... DANCING!










Now I'm sure we could of found a fancy dance club to go to... but remember how I said I am musically retarded... even more so with dancing.. I can't do it! I look like a ubber dork when I try to dance. Plus it was a Thursday night, who's going to find and use their babysitter on a Thursday when Friday is a day away right? Luckily this to is easily remedied, Microsoft solved that problem. We turned on the Kinect and battled it out. The competition was fierce, the men put up a good fight... but ultimately, the ladys laid it out. We showed them how it was done. End of story. Not to much more to say, if we had to choose one winner... Jen took the cake (not my cheesecake though)!


So turning older is tragic... add some cheesecake and become a lord of dance.. then it is manageable!